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Dating After Adoption [How to Talk About Adoption]

If you’re a single woman who placed her baby for adoption, you may decide to jump back into the dating world at some point. Whether it’s a been a few months or a couple years since the placement was completed, you might be wondering “How do I tell him I “gave a baby up?”

To get free guidance about dating after adoption contact an adoption specialist today.

If you decide to start dating after adoption, you will want to make sure you are transparent with any prospective partners. You might feel at a loss of words when it comes to explaining this unique part of your past. Your adoption specialist can help you figure out the best course of action when it comes to discussing your adoption with your new partner.

Do I Need to Tell Prospective Partners About my Adoption?

There isn’t a black and white answer to this question. But the short answer is that you should always be honest with people who you are considering making a big part of your life.

While it might feel strange or intimidating when thinking about “How do I tell him “I gave a baby up?” it is important for the sake of transparency and trust. If you chose an open adoption and are still in contact with your child and the adoptive family, hiding your adoption may be difficult, and could needlessly complicate this post-placement contact.

You don’t want a lie to come between you and your child, nor should you feel like you have to keep such an important part of your life a secret. Beginning a relationship with a lie is also a risky move and not fair to them. Especially if the relationship becomes serious.

Of course, this isn’t something you have to lead with on a first date or list in a dating profile, but you should try to mention it early on if you feel things beginning to get serious.

“How Do I Tell Him I “Gave A Baby Up?”

There’s already a lot to think about when it comes to dating without factoring in talking to them about placing a baby for adoption. However, if you feel like someone could be a regular part of your life, it’s better to have this conversation sooner rather than later.

While it’s valid to be worried that this will complicate things, you should never try to hid your adoption from prospective partners. The adoption will always be a big part of your life. Honesty is the best policy when approaching this topic.

Broaching this subject might seem intimidating or maybe even impossible, but there have been many birth mothers who have started happy relationships after placing their baby for adoption. You can reach out to these birth moms for guidance and insight through online forums or support groups.

When talking to your partner about your adoption, there is a chance you may experience confused reactions. They may be caught off guard or they just don’t know enough about adoption or the benefits of adoption. Anticipating potential questions and planning what you’re going to say ahead of time can help you better explain your side and address any questions or concerns they might have.

If you’re wondering “How Do I tell him I “gave a baby up?” consider talking about why you chose adoption is just as important as explaining the process and the benefits. Even if they’re having a hard time processing your choice, seeing how passionate you are about it might make it easier to process this information. Make sure you give them the space to assess how they’re feeling and ask questions if they have any.

After the Conversation

If this new partner supports or accepts your decision, then great! Furthering your relationship with this person may be within reach. If they are uncertain or against your decision, then this relationship may not work out. At least not right now. They may just need more time or more information. Be open to discussing any questions they have.

No matter what, you should never let anyone guilt you or make you feel bad about your adoption decision. You made that choice for a reason. You made a difficult, but selfless decision to give your baby the amazing life you know they deserve.

In fact, how someone reacts to this news may give you a glimpse into who they are as a person. If they react poorly and harshly judge you for your choice, you are likely better off without them.

If you’re wondering “How do I tell him I “gave a baby up?” your adoption specialist may be able to help you. You can reach out to your adoption specialist at any time to get guidance on how to approach this situation. They know your situation and can help you navigate potential questions. To get the support you need today, contact an adoption specialist today.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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