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Should I Consider Unmarried Adoptive Couples Who Want to Adopt My Baby?

You’re choosing adoption for your child because you want to be sure they get the life they deserve, but how can you make sure that’s what happens? By choosing the right adoptive parents. Start by getting free information now.

Finding the perfect adoptive family for your baby is an important task. That’s where we come in. At American Adoptions, each woman who works with us will be assigned to her own individual adoption specialist. This adoption specialist is a social worker who will be dedicated to making sure one person remains in control of the adoption process: you.

We want to give you every opportunity to take control of your situation. One big way that we do this is by letting you choose the adoptive family. If you’re unsure whether you should consider unmarried couples who want to adopt your baby when choosing the hopeful adoptive family, American Adoptions is here to help.

If you already know exactly what you’re looking for in an adoptive family for your child, great! Your specialist will help make that happen.

What to Think About When Choosing the Adoptive Family

If you aren’t quite sure what your ideal adoptive family looks like, your adoption specialist will work with you to answer the following questions:

  • Do you want your child to have siblings? Some women have fond memories of growing up in households with brothers or sisters to play with. Other women ultimately decide to help a couple’s dreams come true by making them parents for the first time. Others still don’t necessarily have a preference about siblings, as long as the couple hoping to adopt is the right fit. It’s completely up to you.

  • Where do you see your child growing up? Do you picture your child being raised on a farm in the Midwest? Do you see them growing up in an urban area on one of the coasts? American Adoptions is a national adoption agency, so wherever you picture your child living, that can be a reality. This also means that you can look specifically at adoptive families who live close to you!

  • What values are important to you in an adoptive family? Do you want your child’s adoptive parents to practice the same religion as you do, or to put a special emphasis on things you’re passionate about, such as higher education or sports?

  • Is it important to you that your baby looks like their adoptive family? Some women choose to place their children with adoptive parents of the same racial or cultural background, while others don’t have a preference in this regard. Whatever your decision, remember that there’s only so much you can control in terms of your child looking like their adoptive family; after all, there will be no shared DNA.

No matter what characteristics are important to you in an adoptive family, your adoption specialist will help you to find the perfect match.

What about couples looking to adopt without being married?

An important thing to know about adoption in the United States is that the laws change across state lines. Many states have marriage requirements to adopt a child. Because of this, American Adoptions requires that all hopeful adoptive parents who work with us must be married for at least two years, although exceptions may be made in some circumstances. In other words, we don’t work with many couples not married who want to adopt.

However, if you do happen to find yourself drawn to the adoption profile of a couple looking to adopt without being married, this shouldn’t necessarily be a cause for concern. As long as your state allows it, you can absolutely place your child with an unmarried couple. They go through the same legally required home study that a married couple does. A home study is essentially an assessment of a couple’s readiness to adopt and includes three phases:

  1. The documentation phase. This includes extensive background checks, physical and mental health checks and records, financial records, and more.

  2. A home inspection phase. A home study provider will enter a couple’s home to ensure that it is safe and prepared for a young child.

  3. Interviews with each family member. After the home inspection, the home study provider will stay to individually interview each member of the household. He or she will make sure that everyone is on board and excited about pursuing adoption.

Find Couples Not Married Who Want to Adopt

If, for whatever reason, you are specifically interested in placing your child with couples not married who want to adopt, you can begin looking through the adoption profiles of American Adoptions families who are currently waiting to adopt. To get guidance and free information about adoption or to speak with an adoption specialist about finding the perfect adoptive family for you, please call 1-800-ADOPTION today. 


Having trouble finding the perfect adoptive family online? Don’t be discouraged. American Adoptions is currently working with many adoptive families at all stages of the process — and not all of them are currently listed on our website. In addition, we work with a nationwide network of other adoption professionals that can help us conduct a wider search for exactly the family you’re looking for.

To discuss your preferences for an adoptive family and get help finding them, reach out to an adoption specialist by calling 1-800-ADOPTION at any time.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

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Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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